Me: Bye honey, I'll see you in ten minutes.
Susan: Bye, I love you.
Blue and White flashing lights in the rear view mirror.
Officer: (with attitude) License and registration please.
Me: My license is in my pocket and my registration is in my glove box.
As I reach for my license, me: Can you tell me why you stopped me?
Officer: (again with attitude) You were talking on your cell phone.
Me: (as I hand him my license and registration, look him in the eyes) No I wasn't.
Officer: (now with even more attitude) Yes. You were, you just drove past me and you had your phone up like this (he holds his hand up to his ear)
Me: (pulling my blue tooth ear piece out of my ear, now with attitude of my own) No. I wasn't. I have an ear piece, I don't need to hold the phone to my ear.
Officer: (real attitude) You may have an ear piece in now, but you didn't when you drove past me. You were on your phone.
Me: (trumping his attitude now by a factor of ten or more) No, I didn't. That doesn't even make sense.
Officer: I saw you. (hand up to ear again)
Me: The only reason my hand would have been up to my ear would be to terminate a call. What you're saying makes zero sense.
Officer: Where are you headed. (Note: RI Plates in CT)
Officer: Where's home?
Me: (gave my address) it's a different address than what's on my license.
Officer: How long have you lived at that address?
Me: I live half of the week there and half of the week in RI, that's where my business is.
Officer: (with no more crap to try to write me up for, and still with fucking attitude, hands me back my license and reg) Have a nice night.
Me: You too, sir.
I haven't had that much attitude from a cop since I cut my fucking hair over twelve years ago.